Here Without You
by Kitkatandcheerio
Summary: Set after the Glease episode Finn and Rachel struggle with their inability to let each other go. Through many attempts to move on, their bond seems to be bringing them back and solidifying the fact that their destiny is to be with each other forever. Rated M for language in the beginning and other intimate stuff later.
1. Chapter 1

**As devastated as we all are about Cory and now Finn, I feel that we need the promised ENDGAME for Finchel. So here is what I think the majority of Season 4 and should have looked like.**

**This fic starts with the end of the Glease episode. I know that as a Finchel fan their separation bothered me, but I also feel that Finn needed "other experiences" to prove to himself that Rachel is it. So forgive me for introducing a new girl for Finn at the beginning, but don't fret cause it will be only in the first chapter (with no smut for them) and the rest implied, but not shown. There will be Finchel interaction often (which is where the writers went wrong with S4 imo) we all know they are endgame, right? I promise you that the new person is temporary and her purpose is two-fold. One, is that it re-inforces to Finn that Rachel is really it, and two she is responsible in unleashing "crazy" Rachel from season 1.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or Rachel or Finn (although I do wish he were mine and in my world Finn Hudson will live until he is 100). The song mentioned is Michael Jackson's _She's Out Of My Life _ and at the end is featured one of my all time favorites Fiona Apple's _Slow Like Honey_**

Here Without You

Finn is in his car driving home after leaving McKinley. As proud as he is of the musical and the Glee kids, he can't help but feel devastated by Rachel's visit and the end result of their conversation. He's partially blinded by the pooling of unshed tears in his eyes as he tightly grips the steering wheel.

"Oh, it's about HIM," he thinks back to their hallway conversation when she said she wasn't crying about Finn.

"You don't know that," she replied.

"I know YOU," Finn said and remembers the stuff he tells her about her different types of crying.

He can't believe he told her that he wanted no contact. But even though not speaking to her and not seeing will hurt, it feels right...they haven't had any contact since the auditorium break up anyway. When he sees her all he does is imagine of the things that he and Rachel did in bed together, things she is now doing with Brody.

He slams his fist on the steering wheel and screams, "FUCK! Why did she have to come back today?" The illusion that she was waiting for him to straighten himself out was a more attractive option, rather than know for sure she moved on. He knows one thing though. These will be the LAST tears he will cry over Rachel Berry and their break up, he tells himself. She is, obviously, not wasting any tears on him.

He sees the new hotel, The Stanford Arms, that opened recently up ahead with its new restaurant/bar. Even though he is not a drinker, this angry AND sad combination of feelings is a lot to manage; he really needs a beer right now. He pulls into the parking lot, parks and walks toward the entrance. One of the advantages of his almost 6'4" height is that people assume he is older than he is, and since he is wearing a tie today, maybe he'll fool the bartender into serving him a beer even though in reality he is only 19 yrs. old. The bar is called _The Library, _and he kinda loves that and chuckles. He can totally picture the local college students telling their parents they spent all evening at the library! Their parents would be so proud for them studying so hard!

The bar is more like a restaurant but it is darker and quieter than he expected. The music is not too loud and not too quiet. It is, he realizes, the perfect place to ignore others, or engage in conversation, whichever mood exists. There were only about ten people there. That is not a good thing; it will make him stick out more. All around, the walls were of wood paneling and it really reminded him of a library in some old, fancy, slightly creepy mansion. The walls were mainly made out of shelves holding what he imagines would be hundreds of books. He has this urge to go and see if the books are real. Maybe later he'll find out. First things, first! His target, the bar, was straight in front of him. He liked this place! It was classy, but not snooty. He wishes Puck were here. " Finn Hudson," he whispers to himself, "Stand up straight and go get your brew." He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. He squares his shoulders and walks up to he bar and sits.

The bartender approaches him; she is an older woman with smiling eyes. "A Blue Moon with an orange slice, please," he orders. He is surprised when she barely glances at him and says, "Coming right up!" While he waits he loosens up his tie, pops the top button of his shirt and sees the lady sitting on his right, two barstools away. Long hair has fallen forward and is hiding her most of her face. It looks like she has propped her chin on her hand and is bored.

Finn takes just a few sips and thinks, "This is the best damn beer I have ever had!" The lady (who turns out to be a hot, young woman by the way) looks at him and says, "I'm glad you are enjoying it!" Holy crap! Did he say that out loud? "Sorry! Sometimes my mouth says things my brain is not ready to share," he says and she smiles and laughs a little. "That must get you in A LOT of trouble!" remarks the girl with a laugh. He nods his head with a laugh and they both look back down at their drinks. The dark "Rachel" cloud descends upon him and he is starting to get really sad (pissed) again. He looks around to really look at the bar. He sees a small stage, and a small dance floor. There is a really nice piano at the back end of the dance floor, but no one is sitting there. As he turns to his right again, he realizes the girl has moved to the empty bar stool right next to him . As before, she has her right elbow on the bar and has her chin propped except now she is really studying him. She takes in the kind of messy brown hair, the cute smile, the light brown eyes and cute freckles, and she smiles at him.

"So...why the long face?" she asks. He looks at her closely for the first time. She looks to be in her early twenties. She has really straight, brown, really shiny hair, parted in the middle that goes all they way to her butt, and green eyes. She reminds him of the actress in the Romeo and Juliet movie they forced him to watch (but he still fell asleep) in English class. But her most striking feature is her mouth. She has really flirty lips, you know, the kind that playfully twitch when she speaks. She is smiling at him and her smile is starting to falter because he is taking too long to respond. "I mean, it is a gorgeous face, but it is really sad, too!"

"Uhm, well...you know...I just... Really? You think I'm gorgeous?" he responds a little shocked smile.

She cuts him off then with a laugh. "Mmm, cut the act; you know you're cute!" After a pause she says, "I bet it's a girl problem, right?" she says.

"How did you know?" Finn asks. She looks a him sadly and says, "I am suffering from the same disease." She takes in his raised eyebrows and says, "No...I mean...boy problems for me, girl problems for you!" He is relieved and he doesn't even know why. They laugh and begin to talk. She is so incredibly easy to talk to and she almost falls off of her barstool from laughter when he tells her about the rifle shooting incident in the Army. It amazes him that some people think it's funny; it was super, super painful...he still has a major scar. He quietly tells her that secretly he thinks the scar is kind of cool because it makes him look kind of dangerous. He slowly bares his soul to her about Rachel and she bares hers to him about Kevin. At some point a slow song comes on and she looks at him.

"I love this song. Dance with me?" She asks tentatively.

God! He really hates to dance, but he doesn't want to turn her down. So he looks at her and says, "Yes, but first I will have to get you to sign a liability waiver. I've been known to cause permanent damage to women's feet, and fast dancing has resulted in broken noses." She laughs and says, "I don't care about my feet, but in that case, I will take off my shoes and dance with you barefoot."

"Wow! You love your shoes more than your feet?" he asks.

"Of course, what girl doesn't?" she teases and taps him lightly on the nose with her index finger. "Now let's go mangle my feet, damn it!"

She takes his hand and leads him to the small dance floor. That's when he notices that she is almost as tall as him, probably 6 ft. tall in her bare feet.

"Were you a basketball player in school?" he asks her as they are walking toward the dance floor.

"I couldn't be that predictable, so no. I played volleyball." she smirks. She seems really confident, but there is also and underlying hint of insecurity that he finds kinda cute.

They reach the dance floor and she links her arms behind his neck and he finds his hands trembling a little when he reaches out to place them on her back. He is kind of nervous cause were she Rachel, he'd place his hands low on her back near her butt. But this is a stranger so he keeps his arms up higher, just under her shoulder blades. They are swaying and it is ok and he relaxes. The current song ends and immediately flows into a familiar tune. He hears the song and wants the ground to just open up and swallow him, but he continues to sway with her anyway. And surprisingly, it isn't awkward at all. She places the tips of her fingers just under the collar of his shirt at the back of his neck and barely moves them back and forth lightly. He tries to block out he lyrics. No such luck.

_She's out of my life, she's out of my life_

_And I don't know whether to laugh or cry_

_I don't know whether to live or die_

_And it cuts like a knife_

_She's out of my life_

At this point she realizes that the lyrics are affecting him, cause his breathing has become erratic, so she presses up against him to let him know she's here for him, and he just holds her tightly and buries his face in her hair. After a while he calms and starts to notice the smell of her perfume and feels the contours of her body pressed against him he gets a familiar stirring in his abdomen. It's been so fucking (or lack of fucking) long! He thought it would be weird being like this with another girl, and it is, sort of weird but not as weird as he thought it would be. It also feels good. Before the song is over they return to the bar.

Next thing Finn knows it is 1:00 AM. He is buzzed at this point, but not falling down drunk or anything. The bartender calls for the last call, and he pays the bill. "Hey," she looks at him nervously, "I have a room upstairs. Do you want to come and sober up in my room? I don't think you are ready to drive yet." She is noticing his hesitation, "Or you could take a cab, whichever makes you most comfortable. I won't rape you or anything, I promise," she teases.

Finn is floored. "But you don't even know my name!" He realizes they never exchanged names. "I don't need to know your name," she says as she locks her eyes on him, puts her hand on his shoulder, and painstakingly slowly and without breaking eye contact drags it down his arm to his hand. She gives his hand a squeeze. He looks at her hand holding his and it seems so foreign to him, and even though his mind is still considering her offer, his feet follow hers anyway. This is when he realizes she is wearing really tight, flare jeans that accenuate her rear end, and a really silky shirt that is beige and blends with her skin. He realizes that for the first time since he met Rachel Berry, his heart is beating really fast in the presence of another girl. She walks behind the front desk at the lobby, whispers something to the clerk there and he hands her a magnetic key card with a smirk. She pops the clerk on the shoulder playfully and says "Shut up," and walks around to grab Finn's hand again.

"Do you work here?" he asks her.

"Kind of," she replies. He stops at that moment and looks at her and stops in his tracks.

"Oh God, you're not a hooker, are you?" He blurts out. She laughs really loud and says, "Your mouth really does say things your brain doesn't want to share. And no, I'm not a hooker. I just know the clerk really well."

They enter the hotel room together and he sits on the king size bed. "Do you want a drink?" she asks. "Just some water," he croaks. He is suddenly parched and it feels like his heart pounding. Do 19 yr. olds have heart attacks? He feels excited and really scared at the same time. What if she turns out to be a serial killer or something? But he is in a fancy hotel and not some creepy house basement, so he figures he is safe. She goes to the small fridge and gets out a bottle of water and takes it back to him. He notices she is being really flirty when she hands it to him, and doesn't let it go right away, so they kind of play tug-of-war with it a for a split second before she lets him have it. She sits next to him on the bed with a smile and a look like she is unsure of her next move.

What she does next stuns him speechless. She says,"I have been wanting to kiss your lips since you walked in the bar." She slowly moves toward him and he looks at her lips, and she leans forward and kisses him. All he is thinking about at first is _older women are really bold_ _and then_,_ Puck is right. _Part of him wants to push her away, but then he thinks of Rachel and the thing he loves the most that she does to him in bed, and that she is doing it to someone else, probably right now. Fuck it! He knows he shouldn't but his heart keeps pounding and her hand moves to his collarbone and slides down over his chest and abdomen, and it feels so damn good to have someone touch him like that again, to feel wanted, that he gets lost in the kiss. His hand drifts dangerously close to her rear end.

"It should be illegal for someone to be hot and adorable at the same time." She continues to alternate between looking at this eyes and his lips for a few seconds. "You know what can help someone to start getting over their ex? Someone new, but strictly temporary; a rebound," she asks and replies herself.

"How temporary, and why me?" he asks.

"The No-Name kind of temporary and because there is something about your that is..." she sucks in her breath and let's it out in a soft hiss, "irresistible."

"But we gotta call each other something," he says almost in a trance. She stands in front of him while he is still sitting on the bed and says, "We don't need to call each other anything. All we need to know is you are I are both brokenhearted." She puts her hands on his knees, pulls them farther apart to stand between his legs; his eye level is right at her breasts and he can't take his eyes off of them. She seems cool and calm, but the rapid rise and fall of her chest betrays her. She pulls her shirt over her head (and wow, she is not wearing a bra), grabs him by knot of his tie, puts her knee on the bed between his legs lightly grazing his crotch, and slowly pushes him onto the mattress. She leans forward and Finn thinks that this is probably a really bad idea. Then he thinks about Rachel and Brody and what they are probably doing in NY and he thinks it is a damn good idea. He is empowered by how much this girl wants him, and he sinks his left hand in her hair and wraps it around his fist while he props himself on his right elbow. She gives him a very lustful smile. Her lips are just barely touching his when she whispers, "We can be each other's super glue for tonight!"

His head is pounding...dull, deep pain. He opens his eyes and panics for a split second unsure of where he is. The room is empty. He lifts the sheet and looks down at his nakedness. He remembers everything! All of it! All of her! Wild sex with a stranger felt so, so, so... he doesn't have a word for it; different but good. He is glad she is gone because it would be really awkward this morning. His eyes fall on a piece of stationery on the night stand. He reaches for it and reads the note she left. It has an ornate OS design at the top.

_Dear Brokenhearted,_

_I hope you don't have any regrets about last night, but I left early just in case you do. I don't have any regrets, only gratitude, since I had a fantastic night with you. You are wonderful, and not just in the sack ;). Thank you for being a comfort to me, and I hope I was of some comfort to you. Break ups suck, but you WILL be ok. _

_Fondly,_

_Super-Glue_

Finn smiles his trademark smirk and quickly showers and gets dressed. He thinks about last night and he doesn't regret anything; they were careful and protected themselves. The most important thing is that he really thought he would feel guilty, feel some sort of betrayal. Although there is a little of that, it doesn't come close to the betrayal he feels about Rachel with Brody. He is not interested in going out and looking for someone to date, but if he does meet someone, he knows he can date again.

He walks to his car and sees the bartender from last night walking by.

"Doing the walk of shame, I see!" she exclaims. He looks at his clothes from last night slightly wrinkled and and looks at her and proudly and says, "Yep!"

He runs to he car with a smile he didn't think was possible yesterday.

A few weeks later-Thanksgiving!

Rachel is excited and a little apprehensive about being in Lima for Thanksgiving. Especially since Brody kind of invited himself along for the trip; his family is too far away to make a weekend trip feasible. She really thinks she'll have to avoid Finn now. The hope of running into him to sort of patch things up, and begin being friends again, is going down the drain; she hates not being able to talk to him. There exists a physical need to know what is going on in his life, and Kurt is not forthcoming, per Finn's instructions. It's perfectly understandable that he would not want to hear about her, especially her and Brody, but why would he instruct Kurt not to mention anything about Finn to Rachel? Is he is trying to punish her?

It's Thanksgiving and Finn is stuffed! He probably has had 3 helpings between 3pm and 7 pm. His excitement now is because he is joining some of the former glee club members who graduated at his favorite new restaurant/bar, _The Library_ for karaoke. It's become his new hangout, and the nice bartender lady always assumes he is old enough and doesn't check for ID. Even so, underage people are allowed until 10:00 pm when it officially becomes a bar and underage folks are kicked out. He is meeting Puck and Mercedes, who are visiting from LA, Quinn from Yale, Mike from Chicago, and yes, even Santana from Louisville. Kurt is also coming with him, and he is so happy to see him again.

The gang meets up at The Library at 8:00 and proceeds to order their non-alcohol drinks. They each take turns singing and the evening is off to a great start. He and Puck decide to sing The Beatles _I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends._

"We are going out for a bit, Daddy!" Rachel calls out as she is about to head out of the door with Brody.

"Ok, stay out as long as you want!" her daddy yells out and Rachel gives him a frown face.

It's official! Her dads hate Brody. What is it with this guy that makes men hate him so?

"Maybe we can get a hotel room or something...I feel really uncomfortable AND they won't let me stay in the room with you," whines Brody.

"That's just the way they are, they wouldn't let Finn spend the night in my room either," she replies. Until we got engaged, she thinks to herself.

She tried calling some of the glee club members that were visiting home for the holiday, but every one of them was busy, so they decide to drive around. If she didn't know better she would think they were trying to avoid her. They are not choosing sides, are they? No, that's silly, she thinks to herself.

As they drive, she notices the new restaurant/bar in town. She asks Brody to pull in there and park.

"Let's go see what it's like!" she exclaims excitedly.

As she walks in, she hears someone singing...it's Puck! Her blood freezes as the entire Glee group, turns to stare at her and Brody. Why didn't they invite her?

Rachel makes eye contact with Santana. "Oh, this night may not be a total bore after all!" raves Santana excitedly. She missed all the drama at college.

Rachel is contemplating leaving, but that would make her look like a coward, so lifts up her head, tosses some of her hair behind her back, and she walks in holding Brody's hand. She takes a table near the glee group and sits down while Brody goes to get their drinks. It isn't until after she sits, that she hears the other voice singing with Puck. Oh God, she thinks to herself as Finn spies her and falters his lyrics a little bit, but recovers quickly. He does his utmost NOT to look at her. Holy crap, he thinks to himself.

_What do I do when my love is away?_

_Does it worry you to be alone?_

_How do I feel at the end of the day?_

_Are you sad because you're on your own?_

_No, I get by with a little help from my friends_

_Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends_

_Mmm I'm going to try with a little help from my friends_

_Do you need anybody?_

_I need somebody to love_

_Could it be anybody?_

_I want somebody to love_

"Holy Shit!" says Brody when he brings back the drinks.

"Let's just finish our drinks and then make a quick exit, ok?" Rachel whispers to him.

Finn finishes his duet with Puck and they return to their table. Kurt decides to go up to Rachel's table.

"Hi, guys!" he says.

Rachel looks as him and gets up and whispers, "So all you guys planned to meet here and left me out? Thanks, Kurt!"

Kurt looks guilty, but replies, "Well, you can see why. Finn is with us and he planned this and invited these people. I couldn't very well invite you to come here with playboy in tow, now could I? Look, just make the best of the situation, ok?" Kurt then returns to the table where Finn is sitting. Sorry Rachel, Finn is family he thinks to himself. Rachel thinks back to sophomore year and has feelings of deja vu'. Finn is Mr. Popularity, and she is the outcast; have they come full circle again?

The rest of the Glee friends are constantly doing the ping pong glances between Finn and Rachel, while both Finn and Rachel pretend the other is not in the room. There is a no contact clause in effect, after all. It is the most awkward thing that Finn has ever experienced and that says a lot, cause he has been in some awkward situations.

Puck leans over and whispers, "Hey dude, do you want us to leave?"

"Nope!" replies Finn. "I'm fine, if she is uncomfortable, she should leave!"

Just then, the karaoke guy makes an announcement.

"Folks, we have a treat for you tonight! The hotel owner's daughter is here checking up on us, and being the talented performer that she is, she will play a song for you all tonight as a thank you for coming out and leaving your loved ones on this momentous holiday to join us here this evening! Please welcome, Olivia Stanford!"

Everyone starts clapping and Finn is glad that there will be a distraction for all of them.

The lady walks to the piano that sits at the back of the dance floor, facing the tables, and Finn's heart drops to his toes. It's the girl from a few weeks back that he had the one night stand with. He gasps and everyone at the table turns and looks at him. He hasn't told anyone about her. He assumed she was driving though and that he would never see her again! She is the owner's daughter and he asked her if she was a hooker? What is wrong with him?

"You ok, there?" Quinn asks, and he quickly nods his head.

"Ok, now we are talking...I'll be hitting that later!" Santana says.

"She doesn't play for your team," Finn states.

"And how would you know?" Santana eyes him.

Finn looks back the the piano and says, "I just know, ok?"

There is a microphone at the piano and the girl (Olivia, now he knows her name) leans over and says, "This song is for all those who are brokenhearted. Just know that superglue is always available to mend that broken heart."

She begins to play a very soulful song and locks her gaze on Finn...her voice is deep and sultry.

_You moved like honey _

_In my dreams last night_

_Yeah, some old fires _

_Were burning_

_You came near to me_

_And you endeared to me_

_But you couldn't_

_quite discern me_

She is staring right at Finn, and Rachel just doesn't know what that is all about. This girl is incredibly sexy, and she is acting like she is singing to Finn. What gives this girl the right to be that bold? She looks over that the other table and everyone is looking between the girl and Finn. But Finn? Finn is staring right at her and not moving like a deer caught in headlights. Rachel's heart is beating faster and she can actually hear the blood pumping in her ears. Oh, God! She is getting the feeling that something is going on between them.

While singing, Olivia, signals for the karaoke guy to take over the piano and she takes the microphone and starts walking slowly toward Finn. She is like a lioness about to pounce! She continues singing...

_Does that scare you?_

_I'll let you run away_

_But your heart_

_Will not oblige you_

_You'll remember me _

_Like a melody_

_Yeah, I'll haunt the_

_World inside you_

As she sings she slowly goes up to Finn, straddles his lap and continues singing to him. Finn, oblivious to the looks of shock on EVERYONE'S face, stares at the girl's face, mesmerized. Rachel can't take her eyes off the singer and Finn, and her eyes are quickly pooling with tears. She hates herself right now because she knows what Finn felt like when she and Brody were singing that duet at _Callbacks_ and later in that hallway after Grease...it's the most awful, awful kind of pain. She presses her lips together to stop herself from crying. Keep it together, keep it together, she chants to herself.

The girl gets up as she continues singing and walks behind Finn's chair and Finn is still frozen looking forward.

_And you'll yield to me_

_Like a scent in the breeze_

_And you'll wonder _

_What it is about me_

_It's my big secret_

_Keeping you coming_

_Slow like honey _

_And heavy with mood_

As she finishes the last few lines of the song, she buries her left hand in the hair at the top of Finn's head, bends right over him, tilts his head back so he has to look at her or the ceiling, and when she finishes the song, kisses him softly on the lips while their heads are upside down.

Rachel scoffs, "It's apparent she stole that move from the Spiderman movie!"

"Holy shit!" Puck let's out a deep groan. "Hey, sweetie, me next!" He yells out.

Olivia glances at Puck, gives him a glorious smile and says, "No, thank you!"

She releases Finn's head, puts the microphone on Finn's table and walks out of the bar. It takes a split second for Finn to regain his composure, and he jumps up to follow after her.

Rachel stomps over to Kurt.

"What the hell was that?" she asks.

Kurt gives her a surprised smirk and says, "It would appear they've met before."

Santana starts fanning herself and yells, "Whoo, we've got panty ignition! How come Lumps gets all the hot girls?"

"Did you know anything about this, Kurt?" Rachel's voice is low and her eyes are down cast. Kurt only shakes his head no. It just now dawns on him that by being with Rachel in New York, he kind of has lost the brother bond with Finn. It makes him very, very sad. He is going to have to fix that!

Rachel takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly while shaking her head sideways a few times thinking how unbelievable all this is and walks out, Brody trailing behind her. Oops, she had forgotten he was there!

Finn catches up with Olivia in the lobby. "Hey, wait up a minute!"

She slows down her pace, stops, and turns around with a smile on her face.

"That was quite the performance," says Finn a little shyly.

She tilts her head on one side and lifts one shoulder at him in a flirty way and says, "You deserved it." She walks a little closer to him and looks at him deeply in the eyes. " You know, I have thought of you often since that night."

Finn remains silent, but smiles. He hasn't really thought of her very much at all, but that may be because he thought she was gone for good.

"So, do you...like... stay here all the time?" he asks her.

"I have a permanent room here, not the one we used, but I come and go. You know I come to "spy" on the staff for my dad." She laughs.

"Well, since I now know YOUR name, it's only fair that I let you know of mine." He sticks his hand out to be shaken. "I'm Finn. Finn Hudson." She takes his hand, leans forward and kisses his cheek. She lets go of his hand by slowly dragging her nails across his palm and fingers, turns and walks away. "See you around, Finn Hudson," she calls out behind her. Her nails on his palms gave him goosebumps, and he turns to go back and join his friends.

As he turns around with a wide smile on his face, he sees Rachel leaving with Brody walking behind her. She stops when she sees his smile and her eyes are sad. His smile disappears and they stare at each other each daring the other to look away first. Rachel loses that dare. She looks down and walks away. As she walks to the parking lot she realizes Finn has already changed some. Three months ago he would have been the one ashamed enough to look away first.


	2. Chapter 2

**First, thank you to you guys who have read and those who have commented. Second, if you find any errors, it's just me rushing, so please forgive them.**

**Ok, the worst part about Olivia is really over...I hope it didn't turn you off. Here is a little of the determined, slightly neurotic Rachel we saw in S1. I missed her so I created Olivia just so she would have some competition and see how she would handle it. Also, I had asterisks to separate the sections of Ch 1, but when I uploaded they disappeared and I didn't notice, so in this ch. I changed them to something else.**

**P.S. To the reviewer that said she hates Brody...I feel you, no one hates him more than I do and therefore, he'll be gone sooner than he did on the show, and without singing my favorite Radiohead song.**

**The song in this chapter is **_**Here Without You**_** by 3 Doors Down.**

Ch. 2

It has been 2 weeks since Thanksgiving and the whole "_Library Incident" _as it is now known. Kurt thinks of all the the things that have happened since; the Glee club got disqualified because of Marley's passing out on stage that Saturday after Thanksgiving, Rachel has won showcase and is now walking around with a huge head, "Ken" is spending more and more time here, and Kurt and Blaine started speaking on the phone (sort of), but that is it.

The only time Rachel seems humbled is when she is trying to pump him for information about Finn. Like now, for instance. As Kurt is sitting on the couch reading a fashion magazine, Rachel comes up to him and asks.

"So, what's Finn up to, these days?"

Kurt looks at her and replies, "Finn is no longer any of your business. He is my brother and I won't betray his trust; no contact. He needs to move on, and so do you. Leave him alone!"

"Come on, Kurt! Just tell me what he is up to, ok? I just want to know how he is doing!" begs Rachel.

"Rachel, you saw him at Thanksgiving...did he look like he was wallowing in self-pity? No. Look, you just want to know if he is seeing that girl, and she is off limits in the conversations with Finn, even with me. He won't mention or discuss her. So, I will tell you what he tells me when I ask about her...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

She looks hurt and looks toward the floor with her hands on her hips. Kurt starts to feel guilty. He stands up, grabs Rachel by the shoulders and sits her on the couch. He bends on one knee in front of her and takes her hands in his. "Look, Rachel, he is doing ok. I am not giving you details of his life because HE doesn't want me to. Please respect his request. Remember, YOU let him go...YOU didn't want to do this anymore. I am not saying Finn didn't deserve for you to punish him for running off like that, but you could have done it in a myriad of ways. You CHOSE to break up with him when you could have at least tried long distance first. There must have been a reason for that, so trust your instinct and let him go. Stop asking about him and focus on your studies and Mr. Perfect-body-with-no-soul."

Kurt looks at her resigned face and brings up something that he has been dreading to do for the past week.

"I hate to ask but...can you stay with Brody at his place this weekend?" He looks at her hesitantly.

"Why?" Rachel says suspiciously.

"Finn wants to come to the city to shop for his Mom and Aunt's Christmas presents. He wants to get them something he can't get in Ohio, so he is coming. He wants to stay at a hotel nearby, but I want to offer for him to stay here, but only if you can go to Brody's. He doesn't want to see you."

"Oh... yeah...sure." She says sadly. "You guys need to have some brother time together, I guess." Kurt nods his head. "No problem! I'll even change my sheets for him. He can use my bed!" Rachel suggests.

"Oh, no! I don't think he'll go for that. Don't go to all that trouble. I don't think he would use your bed, considering...you know, Brody stays over sometimes and all." Kurt reminds her.

"Don't be silly! You don't know that!" she says dismissively.

"Yes, I do! You want to know how? He said, 'I don't want to sleep in the bed she screws Brody' that's how I know." Kurt exclaims in a frustrated manner.

Rachel makes a surprised and silent "o" shape with her lips, and then presses her lips together while closing her eyes and nodding her head.

"Fine, Kurt. I am going to go relax for a little bit in my room." Rachel says as she walks toward the partition that separates her bedroom from the rest of the loft. She slowly lowers herself on the bed and gets a determined look on her face. So, he doesn't want to see me, huh? She thinks to herself. Well, Finn Hudson, we can't always get what we want. I wanted to get married, and you put me on a train. So, get ready to be ambushed when you least expect it. I am Rachel Berry and I will not be ignored! "Oh my God! I'm sounding like that crazy Fatal Attraction lady!" she whispers to herself. She lays down on the pillows, places her hands behind her head, and stares up to the ceiling to devise her plan of action. Mission: get Finn Hudson to talk to her again!

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Friday is here and Finn is excited to be on the plane to New York. The last time he was here, he didn't get a chance to really explore since he was following Rachel around like a puppy from class to class. This time he is going to go see...well, something! He has always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty. He can't wait to spend some time with Kurt again. As he walks toward the exit of the terminal, he gets a call from Kurt who's waiting outside.

Finn walks outside and there is Kurt jumping up and down and waving like a preteen girl, "Whoo hoo! Here...here! Fiiiiiinn!"

Finn gets a big smile on his face and walks toward Kurt. "Hey, little brother!" says Finn as he bends to give Kurt a hug. "How are you doing?"

Kurt starts in immediately. "I am so excited you are here. We will have the apartment to ourselves, and I have planned a whole day of sight seeing for tomorrow. What time is your flight on Sunday?"

"My flight leaves at 5:45 pm on Sunday, so that gives us around 48 hrs of brother time and shopping which, of course, is your specialty," Finn replies with a smile.

Kurt claps his hands together as they walk toward the taxi stand, "Oh, goody! So what are we looking for as far as shopping?" Finn starts with, "Well, my mom mentioned she wanted a new bag and she was looking at one in a magazine, so I tore out the page when she wasn't looking and I brought it with me. Also..." he begins hesitantly, "I am looking for some new clothes that aren't so high-school like, but still manly. Not like yours, no offense! Think you can help me with all that?"

Kurt has tears in his eyes. "I have been waiting for you to ask me for that since 2010! Of course, I will help you!"

As he is about to enter the taxi, Finn looks over at Kurt and asks, "You're sure Rachel won't be there? I'm fully prepared to get a hotel room. I have enough money."

"She will be... elsewhere... this weekend, so don't worry, ok?"

Finn just looks at him and nods.

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As they approach the loft Finn feels apprehensive but, as promised, there is no sight of Rachel. He doesn't know whether he is disappointed in this. The old Rachel, the one who wore plaid skirts and knee socks, would have made some kind of an excuse to be late leaving so she could see him when he arrived. But we have a grown up, dolled up, Rachel now. Kurt, on the other hand, notices that Finn has taken out his phone and texting back to someone a few times.

"Carole checking to see if her baby landed safely?" teases Kurt.

"Ha, ha! No, that wasn't mom...I texted her before we left the airport." Finn said rolling his eyes. Why does everyone think he is a mama's boy? He really isn't. He takes in the apartment and thinks back to when he was here before and feels it's a little weird being here again.

"Oh, do tell! Who were you texting then? That girl? Paris Hilton wanna be?" Kurt keeps on.

"I will tell you what I always tell you...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Finn says with a raised voice. Kurt puts his hands up in surrender while picking up a while fabric napkin and waving it like a surrender flag, "Ok, ok!"

Kurt looks at Finn for a moment and says, "Hey I know that this is a silly question considering it's, well, you, but do you feel like eating? Are you tired? Do you want to stay in and order delivery, or go out?" Finn looks overwhelmed for a moment and then answers, "Yes, sort of, and go out. Let's go out for Italian...I am in the mood for gnocchi!"

"Good, but it is pronounced "NO-kee" Finn, not "ge-Nah-chi." Kurt corrects him. Finn just laughs it off.

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They make it back home by 11:00 pm and Finn decides to take a shower before he goes to bed; he is really, really tired. He takes his sleep shirt and boxers to the bathroom and starts the shower. Kurt goes to change into his pinstriped, lime green pajamas when Rachel slides the door of the loft open and comes in.

Kurt jumps up, "What the hell are you doing here?" Kurt is half whispering half yelling.

"Well, I forgot one of my necessary items; my moisturizer. I'll just go into my bedroom to get it! Where is Finn?" Just then she hears Finn singing in the shower.

"Thank God he went into the shower and he doesn't know you're here. He would flip. Hurry up, get it and get out of here. PLEASE!" Kurt is panicking.

"Ok, Kurt, calm down; it's not the end of the world, is it? Go put on your PJs and I'll leave before he gets out of the bathroom." Rachel nods her head convincingly. Kurt turns around and goes into his bedroom.

Well, she did not come all the way over here, to just leave without seeing him. Rachel goes up to the bathroom door and listens to Finn singing. She tries the door and it is unlocked. Bingo! Finn never locks doors, well, unless sex is involved anyway. She quickly slips into the bathroom and stands listening to him.

_But all the miles that separate_

_disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

_I'm here without you baby_

_but you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_and I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_but you're still with me in my dreams_

_and tonight, it's only you and me._

Rachel's breath catches in her throat. The song, is it about her or the other girl? God she has missed him so much, all she has to do is open the curtain and just take a peek. He'll never know. She pulls the curtain just a tad, and sees Finn's backside in all its beautiful nakedness. He is soaping his face and his eyes must be closed. He turns around with his eyes still closed. The soap is running in rivulets down his body getting caught in his happy trail. He is so damn beautiful! She always loved his body. And apparently her body loves his body too, cause now things are getting really moist down south. She squeezes her thighs together and continues to watch him. He bends his head back and the spray of water cleans the soap off his face and he straightens out his head and opens his eyes and sees Rachel's startled face staring at him through an opening in the curtain.

"Aaaahhh!" He screams, and turns the water off. "Rachel, you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing in here?" He tries to hide his naked body with the edge of the shower curtain.

"Umm, sorry, I forgot my...ah...my...ah...tampons. Yes, tampons and I wanted to sneak in here and get them intending to be gone before you realized I was here. Sorry, Finn," she stammers.

He squints his eyes into slits and tips his head back like he is not buying it at all, "And that requires for you to pull back the curtain and check out my...stuff?"

"Pfft...I did no such thing! It's nothing I haven't seen before. The shower curtain simply got stuck to my belt here, see, when I passed by to go get the tampons from the shelf." She demonstrates, successfully, the impossibility of the flap on her belt ever opening the shower curtain. Finally, she gives up.

At that moment Kurt comes in because he has heard the commotion. Taking in the scene in front of him, he screams, "Rachel Barbra Berry, I cannot believe you!"

"I am going, Jeez, people. Just let me get my favorite round hairbrush and I'll be on my way. Gosh!" she twirls around grabs the brush and starts to leave.

"Don't forget your tampons," yells Finn.

"Don't forget your moisturizer," yells Kurt.

She looks at them both with eyes into slits and lips pressed in a line and grabs her stuff. "Fine, I am gone...have a good time. Sorry to interrupt 'brother time'." She turns to go giving Finn one last glance and stops to look at him. "That song you were singing, was it meant for anyone in particular?" His eyes turn cold and he says, "No one at all."

"Really?" She asks.

"Really!" he responds.

She walks out and as she passes the table, hears Finn's phone vibrate. She sidles near it and quickly looks before the screen blacks out again.

_**Out of the shower yet? I want to FaceTime **_

_** so I can see those cute freckles!**_

Then it goes black again. She feels a little stab at her heart. Those cute freckles on his left cheek were hers to play connect-the-dot with chocolate syrup and lick off. This girl better NOT have done that to him. That is a Rachel Berry invention and only she is allowed to partake in that manner. She looks back toward the bathroom and realizes that for the first time since, well, junior year, she is afraid of the possibility that some other girl will steal him away. Slowly, she walks out the door while hearing Kurt apologize profusely to Finn about her intrusion.

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It's past 1:00 am and Finn is wide awake on the couch listening to all the city noises outside. The noise would take a while to get used to, but he also finds it kinda soothing. He can't help but get a smile on his face when he thinks about Rachel and her shenanigans this evening. Underneath all that dark make up and new clothes there seems to be quite a lot of the old Rachel left. He would not admit it to her, but the song in the shower was about her. He had to stop himself from grabbing her and putting her in the shower with him and getting down and dirty; he could see it in her eyes that she'd wanted it too. That is why he did not want to be around her during this trip. He hopes she stays away for the rest of his time here.

Shopping with Kurt tomorrow will be interesting. He is excited to shed his high-school-Finn clothing and go for something more grown up, but casual. God, he hopes Kurt doesn't try to put him in some skinny jeans or anything, cause he is NOT going for that!

He texted Olivia a few times and face timed her. She is a really nice person, and she is hot, and he likes that this relationship is very casual. No "do or die" intensity to it. Just, fun, fun, fun! She is not going to be a permanent fixture in his life, so there is no need to introduce her or even talk about her to anyone. Ugh! He needs to sleep! Finn turns to his side, hugs a pillow to his chest and snuggles in and slowly falls asleep.

"It's shopping day! Get up! Get up!" Kurt is dancing around in his PJs and trying to be as noisy as possible to get Finn up. Finn is a really hard sleeper so even now he is difficult to wake up in the morning!

Finn pulls the blanket over his head and mumbles sleepily, "... too... early!...five...more...minutes!"

Kurt looks at Finn's long body sprawled over the couch, legs hanging over the arm of the sofa, and thinks back to when he used to have a crush on him. Thinking of that makes him feel guilty, because he knew he was making Finn uncomfortable with his advances, and knowing Finn as he knows him now, it bothers him that he did that to him.

Kurt thinks of the one thing that Carole would do that would embarrass Finn so much he would jump out of bed to make it stop. Here it goes...Kurt clears his throat and begins to sing the song from a personalized CD of songs for toddlers Finn's mom got him when he was little.

"_Time to get up,_

_Time to get up,_

_Time to get up, Finny man,_

_Time to get up,_

_God gave us a brand new day!_

Finn jumps half asleep and falls down tangled in the blanket while yelling, "Ok, I'm up, stop, stop!"

Laughing, Kurt turns around to go change.

When Finn comes out of the bathroom dressed and groomed he is greeted by the scent of eggs and bacon cooking. There is a plate of eggs and bacon on the table along with a glass of orange juice.

"Thanks, Kurt!" he calls out, because he can't see Kurt.

"You're welcome!" Kurt yells back from the bedroom.

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Oh, God, why did he ask for this? Finn is thinking that maybe he should have just come here for his mom's and aunt's bags and skipped the "Finn makeover" as Kurt calls it. After trying on a gazillion shirts, sweaters, jeans, and shoes, they (Kurt) finally chose the 4 outfits that Finn needed to buy from a designer that Kurt calls "a Greek man destined to make all men look hot." And although he is more tired after shopping than after working a whole day at Burt's garage, he is glad that he finally has some comfortable, but grown up clothes. Oh, and did he mention he has an awesome black leather jacket now? That is his favorite purchase and his new black ankle boots with silver buckles. Kurt insisted that he wear one of the outfits out of the store and he is glad he did. He is wearing, black jeans, which are more fitted than his really loose ones before, and charcoal v-neck sweater, his new black leather jacket, and his new boots. But right now he just wants to go back to the loft to take a nap. Kurt, however, has other ideas.

"Finn! you have wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty for years now. Let's just go to the ferry, you can relax and rest for the duration of the ride AND show off your new clothes."

Tired but more excited about seeing the Statue of Liberty up close and personal, Finn agrees. They go to Battery Park and board one of the ferries that takes you to Liberty Island.

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Rachel knows Finn like the back of her hand, so she knows if he does one thing on this trip it will be to go to the Statue of Liberty. So, she goes to Battery Park and hangs out on the park benches reading and, since she has full view of the ticket booths for the ferry system, she periodically checks to see if he and Kurt have gotten there. She knows all she has to look for is a plaid shirt and she'll spot her giant boy in a flash. Well, her FORMER giant boy, anyway. It seems he is someone else's giant boy now, although he is not a giant to that girl.

After a couple of hours, she sees something she didn't expect. Kurt and, holy crap, is that Finn dressed like a hot New Yorker in all dark clothing with dark sunglasses on? What the hell did Kurt do? Great! Now Finn will be even more of a chick magnet. Did Finn come here do get a new look? She bets it's that girl's fault. She probably told Finn to change his wardrobe. Ok, now she has to try to sneak on to the ferry and pretend that she just ran into him on the ride over. Maybe they'll let her hang out with them while they go to the top of the Statue. This whole experience today will be invaluable to her if she has to play the role of a spy or private investigator, she realizes. She is doing a great job being stealth!

She watches Kurt and Finn board the ferry and Finn is completely oblivious to the fact that so many girls are checking him out. He is a striking figure; tall, slender but not skinny, great hair and sunglasses; he looks like a movie star. Pace was really stupid not to accept him! Sorry, Mr. Lipton, I still regard you with utmost respect, but that was a bad move. She is convinced that had Finn been accepted to The Actor's Studio, she would now be a married woman. Instead, she has turned into a stalker.

Rachel slowly gets up and purchases her ticket getting on the ferry at the last minute. The Ferry is not so crowded and she spies Kurt in the shaded area while Finn is sitting on a sunny bench. He is leaning back, head tilted up like he is looking at the sky, his arms draped over the back rest of the bench. With his eyes closed, he looks like he is asleep. Slowly, she approaches the bench and walks behind him. She pretty much put on twice as much perfume as she normally wears (Finn's favorite and the one he gave her) and hopes the breeze will carry her scent to him. As she leans on the side rail with her back to the bench, she is hoping he'll turn to see where the scent is coming from. Taking out her make up compact mirror, she looks for him in the reflection without having to turn around. He sits up and turns his head to the side. He doesn't, however, turn around and she can't be wasting time if she wants to be invited to join them on their tourist excursion. Purposely, she bumps into a guy and speaks fairly loudly, "I'm so sorry, sir!" She sees from her peripheral vision that Finn has quickly whipped around and is looking at her. Just then she turns her head and they lock eyes. She acts surprised at first, and smiles at him, but his initial smile turns into an angry scowl and he whips back around without speaking to her.

The Broadway actress in her kicks into high gear and she approaches him. "Finn, what a surprise! I can't believe I ran into you here."

"Seriously, Rachel! You expect me to buy that? You LIVE in New York and you go to a tourist destination, the main tourist destination that I have always wanted to visit by the way, on the same day and exact time that we decided to go? What are the odds?" Finn is getting more frustrated by the minute.

She glances down ashamed but then looks over at him and says, "Maybe the universe is telling us we need to talk and be friends again." She cringes inwardly because she knows she is using the words he used in the car before he put her on the train.

"I don't want to be friends with you, ok? I need to get over wanting to be with you. You can't be friends with someone you want to bone every time you see them! You are with someone else, I have someone else, we need to get to a place where we CAN be friends! Don't you understand? This is TOO HARD for me!" Finn is starting to bring attention to himself.

She looks thoughtful for a moment and gets a small smile says, "You want to bone me?"

Finn becomes frustrated then. That is all she got from that? He gives her an incredulous look.

He quiets down and leans forward placing his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands. Rachel looks at him and feels terrible. She keeps hearing him saying "I have someone else" over and over in her mind. He is not some kind of a toy to be played with. What is she doing? She is hurting him more by doing this, but honestly, she can't stop herself. She puts her hand in his hair and strokes his head a couple of times. It feels so good to touch him again. She feels him stiffening at her touch and holding his breath.

She leans forward and whispers in his ear, "I'm sorry. I realize now how horrible I am being. The no contact thing is really hard for me."

Looking back at her, Finn says, "You didn't have a hard time with it after you broke up with me in the auditorium...it was almost a month until you came back and I saw you at McKinley. Face it Rachel, it's only hard for you because I ASKED for no contact and because of Thanksgiving."

She feels worse now, "I get it, Finn. As soon as the ferry docks, I'll go back to the city. I'll leave you alone for the rest of your trip here. I am really, really sorry, Finn."

He turns his head to look at her then and and gets a softer look on his face. He gets a resigned look on his face, and says, "Look, you are here and you have paid for the tour with your ferry ticket. You can come with me and Kurt, but please stop with the longing looks like you wish things were different, ok? You wanted this, so don't act like a victim."

"I wanted for us to be apart so you could find yourself, not for you to stop talking to me, Finn. I just want to know what you are doing, how you are. Can you just text me every couple of weeks just to tell me what you are up to? I won't text back I promise. You can make it a group message if you want, you know, like those cheesy Christmas messages that some people put in their cards that go on and on about what they were up to the past year. Please!" Rachel pleads with him. He smiles as her then.

"I'll think about it, ok? It's the best I can do." Finn looks sadly at her.

"You promise?" she pleads again.

"I promise!" he tells her.

"Oh...my...God...Rachel...Berry! You are shameless, you know that?" Kurt starts on her the moment he realizes she is with Finn. "Which part of 'he doesn't want to see you' don't you understand?"

"It's ok, Kurt. She'll be hanging with us while we visit the Statue of Liberty," says Finn.

"Are you sure, Finn?" Kurt looks worried.

Finn looks at Rachel and then Kurt and smiles a little, "I'm sure."

The ferry docks and they disembark with Rachel walking next to one side of Kurt and Finn walking on the other. They walk around the grounds first and take pictures with the Statue behind them. Rachel takes pictures of the brothers together.

Kurt loudly exclaims, "Well, at least she is good for something on this trip!"

"Easy, Kurt...this is hard for her, too. You live with her...you should know!" Finn says while Rachel is walking toward them.

They go inside and Kurt make arrangements for them to go up to the crown. All 354 steps! Finn really enjoys the climb, but Rachel has a hard time; she's wearing 5 inch heels after all. Kurt is secretly happy for her torture for barging in on his day with Finn.

It is a little claustrophobic for Finn when going through the neck, but once in the crown, you could look out to the city from so high up...it's breathtaking; well worth the climb. Finn puts his arms above his head on the wall and leans his forehead onto the glass looking out of the crown for a long while lost in thought, unaware of Rachel looking at him, wishing she knew what he was thinking. Secretly, she snaps a picture of him with her phone...he looks pensive, grown up, sexy and a little aloof (which makes him MORE sexy). Six months ago they would be talking about what they were thinking...now they are just wondering. Kurt is in a hurry to get back down, but Finn looks like he is reluctant to leave. After a few more minutes, they start to go down. Kurt stops Finn and says, "Finn, you go first, then Rachel so if she trips on her high heels, she'll fall on you." Finn shakes his head disbelievingly but does as Kurt wants anyway.

Once back down stairs they visit the gift shop and Rachel just roams around looking at random stuff. She notices Finn by the jewelry case and sees him looking and pointing at a necklace pendant to the sales clerk. The clerk handed him the pendant and he examined it closely for a few minutes with the end result being a purchase of said item. When he goes off to look at something else, she goes closer to the counter see what he bought. It was a gold oval shape on whose center was a tiny Statue of Liberty surrounded by stars. It was a beautiful piece considering it was a souvenir and it was expensive for a 19 yr old to buy. It was probably what he wanted for his mom, she guessed; that something he couldn't get in Ohio.

She slowly walks up to Kurt and asks, "Did Finn find what he wanted for his mom and aunt?"

"Yup!" said Kurt, "We found the handbag this morning!"

Handbag? Who did he buy the Statue necklace for? Oh my God, it must be for that girl for Christmas! _I have someone else_! Did she like New York? She was dressed like she liked New York! She is engulfed by sadness and fear and decides she really needs to leave.

She goes up to them both and says, "Hey guys! I'm going to go. You guys finish shopping and take the ferry when you are ready!" She looks over at Finn, "Thank you for letting me hang out today. I know you didn't want me to." She gave him a hug which lingered a little too long and turned to Kurt. He knows something had happened, but honestly, he has no idea what it was. Her demeanor has changed completely. "I'll see you tomorrow evening, Kurt."

She turns to go and as she walks away she calls out, "Have a safe flight, Finn!"

"Thanks," he calls back to her, still a little baffled by the change in her.

They finish looking around the gift shop and Finn buys a snow globe for his room and then they leave. The ferry ride back is a little colder, but still very enjoyable. This part of New York, he really liked!

On the way to Kurt's apartment, they stop by the local pizza place that has brick oven pizza and bring some home for dinner. It was so good! New York has the best pizza in the world!

They have a nice relaxing evening eating their pizza and watching a movie in their PJs. Finn is tired because he got to bed so late last night and falls asleep halfway through the movie. Kurt turns the TV off and goes to his bed with thoughts of Rachel and Finn and their actions today. He hopes that Finn finds his way and whatever he decides to do, he can do it here. He needs to move in here with Rachel the way they had planned all along. He planned to speak to him, a brother to brother, heart to heart talk tomorrow before he left. If they don't work this out, he doesn't think they would survive unscathed. His eyes drifted shut with the street noise below lulling him to sleep.

In the morning, Finn is surprisingly easy to wake up. Well, it was 10:00 am after all. He takes a shower and gets dressed. They have breakfast and now they are both sitting at the kitchen table after having cleared the breakfast dishes.

Kurt asks him, "What do you want to do today?"

Finn just looks at him, "I've done what I came to do, so whatever you want is fine. We can just relax here if you want, and go have a late lunch before I go to the airport, what do you think?"

Kurt nods his head. Finn looks at him a little concerned and asks, "How are you doing with your breakup with Blaine?"

"About as well as you are doing with yours!" replies Kurt halfheartedly.

"We are, all four of us, just a big mess!" Finn looks out the window and says. "You know, when I was here before, this place overwhelmed me. But now, after this visit, as I sit here and think about it I don't know if it was this place, or what happened when I initially got here."

Kurt feels like he is finally going to get some answers about his running off like he did last time. "What do you mean?"

"When I put Rachel on the train, I fully expected for her to hold on to US. Free for career purposes, you know. I knew that there would be hell to pay when I came back after not contacting her for those few months. I expected yelling, slapping, cold shoulder treatment, the whole pissed-off-girl thing. When she opened the door, I was prepared for the sting of a slap on my cheek, I really was. I did not expect to see a romantic picnic on the floor and some guy on a date there with her. I don't know, a little of the faith I had in her just floated away." He looks at Kurt sadly and Kurt is amazed that he is opening up to him like this.

"Finn, you broke up with her." Kurt reminds him.

"I did what I had to do to get her here. I didn't expect her to let go so easily of me. Look, I am not blaming her, ok? I know that I caused all this, but I also know that I was apart from her without any contact too, AND with other girls around me often. Girls that look hot as hell in their ACUs, too! Although some tried, I never gave them a second glance. Rachel obviously didn't feel the same. She let someone else get to her. She changed herself completely, new look, new attitude, new guy. Anyway, after yesterday and the day before, I know that this is not over between us. Her actions yesterday speak volumes, so she can be with him, whatever. But she is not letting go, so we'll let time pass and maybe the wounds won't be so deep and we can work out way back. But it's not happening right of way, that's for sure."

"Going back to the beginning of the conversation, are you saying that you don't feel out of place here in New York?" Kurt asks hopefully?

"Yes, that's what I am saying."

"Ok, I know it is none of my business, but what is going on with you back home? Are you seeing that girl from the bar?" Kurt looks at Finn.

Finn shifts uncomfortably in his chair, but decides to be honest with Kurt. "Ok, three things are going on with me. One, you know I am filling in with Glee club for Mr. Schue. The next two things you don't know about. Second, once the play ended, I decided to start working with the community theater to brush up on my skills so I can reapply to Pace and maybe have a better result this time. Now I want to not just focus on acting, but also directing. I've got a long hard road with that, but I'm pretty sure I can do it. Third, I _am_ seeing the girl from the bar, but it is very casual. She lives in Maryland near DC, so we only see each other when she comes to stay at the hotel in Lima and they have one in Columbus, too. But she comes often, ok? Probably more often than she needs. Now I don't want you to mention her to Rachel, understand? Not a word. Let her wonder all she wants, got it?"

"Yes, but I don't know why you would not want her to know." Kurt asks.

"Because this is not going to last a long time. It is just temporary, kind of licking each other's wounds. She is in the same situation with an ex and we are each other's rebound. I don't know how long it will last, that's why. Please keep this to yourself. Plus she needs to know what it feels like, the fear of losing the love of your life." Finn gives him a pleading look that is mixed with a little warning too.

"You really plan on applying to Pace again?" Kurt is getting misty eyed.

"Yes, and NYU, as a backup just in case. I am getting out of Lima come hell or high water!" Finn says with a smile.

Kurt jumps up and gives him a hug. Maybe this girl is good for him for now. He doesn't know if Finn's confidence is partially because of her, or if it's determination to eventually get Rachel back, but he loves this new Finn who is determined and focused.

"Ok, big guy! Let's get you packed and go get something to eat in the neighborhood before we ride the subway to the airport!" Kurt is excited.

This trip of Finn's turned out to be everything that the brothers wanted it to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Here Without You

Chapter 3

**This chapter is my favorite because it's CHRISTMAS time in Lima! Lima isn't really as dreadful as it is on Glee...**

**Also for those of you that wanted some Finchel love, here is a teaser for you. **

**I know some of you don't want Finn or Rachel with anyone, but I'm giving them a realistic adult break-up. **

**Let's see what Rachel and Finn will be up to for the holiday. There is only one song being used here, a holiday classic, written by Johnny Marks and based on the story of Robert May.**

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Rachel sits in her room in Lima thinking of the reason she came home for the holidays. Her dads offered to come to New York and keep her company while Kurt was in Lima, so why didn't she take them up on their offer? Who is she kidding? She knows why she is here...she wants to see Finn. Even when he tries to avoid her, she still wants to see him. Also, she wants to tell him off because he promised he would text her to keep her updated on how he was doing, which he has NOT done. So much for promises! Anyway, she's been here two days and still has not seen Finn. She really thought she'd see him at the airport when he picked up Kurt, but Burt came instead.

At least she has plans for tonight! She is meeting Santana, of all people, at Breadstix for dinner. They'll catch up during dinner and then they'll head on over to the mall for some last minute shopping.

Once at Breadstix, she sees Santana waiting at a booth for her and Rachel walks towards her and sits across from her. They make some mindless chit chat while they wait for their orders.

"Hey Santana, have you spoken to Finn lately? How is he doing?" asks Rachel trying to act indifferent.

Santana looks at her across the table and smiles her wicked smile, "Finn looks like he is fine. Looking fine, acting fine, you know, happy. So, Rachel, how is the new boyfriend?"

"Ok, I guess. He isn't the best boyfriend in the world, but at this point, who cares, right? I am focusing on my studies and career. Men are secondary to that!" Rachel puts on an indifferent face.

"Oh, really? So, how does Finn fit into all this?" laughs Santana.

"Finn and I are not together right now, but I still care for him and want to know how he is doing," Rachel replies confidently.

"Oh, believe me...I know that your interest in him is purely platonic," Santana says sarcastically. "I would never make the mistake of thinking that you guys are permanently over. There is nothing you guys love doing more than torturing each other." Santana leans forward and whispers to her, "You know, word is he has a BCB!" Santana says and takes a sip from her straw.

Rachel scrunches her eyebrows in confusion, "What is a BCB?"

A BCB is a Booty Call Babe, you know, someone you call when you want to get laid?" Santana eyes her carefully to see her reaction.

"I think you may be mistaken. Finn is not the BCB kind...he wants feelings, love, the whole nine yards. He would never engage in that kind of behavior." Rachel says but looks a little uncertain.

"Oh, I think his lovey dovey side is reserved for you, but I do believe he has been dipping his dip stick in someone else's oil pan, from what I hear. And honestly, you are the queen of "feelings, love, the whole nine yards" and you are capable of that kind of behavior with the Ken doll. Last year no one would have expected that from you, so why not Finn? You know, once you have started having sex, it is really hard to go back to being celibate again. Plus, he is looking mighty sexy lately, with his new hair cut, and scruff, don't you think?" Santana says teasingly.

"Santana look, can we not talk about Finn, please?" Rachel does not want to hear anymore...it's making her nauseous.

"You brought him up!" Santana defends herself. "Anyway, I didn't ask you out to meet to talk about Finn or his BCB. I want to ask you something. You know that I hate being in Kentucky, right?" Rachel just nods as a response. Santana continues, "Well, I am not going back for the spring semester. My mom gave me a good bit of money to follow whatever dream I have, and I am thinking of coming to New York. Would you be willing to have me move in with you and Kurt and share the cost. It would be cheaper for you guys split three ways. Of course I have to ask Kurt too, but I want to know if you would agree to this?"

Rachel looks at Santana carefully and studies her. She seems sincere and Rachel considers her request weighing the pros and cons in her head. It would be nice to have another girl around (although Kurt is kind of like a girl in many ways), and she has missed her glee friends this year. The cons are numerous, but she considers Santana a friend, even though she was Finn's first. "Alright," she agrees with a smile, "On one condition...you never call me and Kurt by any hateful nickname again! Deal?"

Santana eyes her, "I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop those, but I'll give it my best shot. Deal!" They shake hands and Rachel gets up and goes to her side and hugs Santana. "I'll talk to Kurt, ok?"

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"To quote Mercedes Jones...Hell to the double NO! Are you kidding me? Santana move in with us? Are you insane?" Kurt reacts to Rachel's asking about Santana moving in while he is standing in the middle of Rachel's high school bedroom.

Rachel proceeds in reminding him of all the reasons this will be a good thing. Kurt stands with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes rolled up to the ceiling. The idea of saving money though is tempting. Also, he secretly knows that Santana will continue to pick on Rachel, so that would be a little humorous. But he also knows that she will pick on him, too. And that will not be humorous.

After what seems like eons to Rachel, Kurt finally relents. He looks at her and reminds her, "Rachel Berry, if this idea turns into shit, I will become the plunger...I swear it!

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It's the evening before Christmas Eve and Finn is starting to get excited for Christmas. He just spent the day with Olivia and she gave him a gift ( a book on the history of African tribal music) which was really, really thoughtful. He gave her the gift he had for her and now he is driving back from Columbus. He is starting to think that this fling might be becoming more than he wants, but Olivia seems like she is very casual about it, so he ignores the warning bells going off in his head.

He decides to go by the neighborhood that has all the Christmas lights before he goes home tonight. This neighborhood is outrageous. The street has about 40 houses, and every single one of them is decked out with a gazillion lights. This display sucks up so much electricity, that the power company actually brings in a portable transformer to boost the one that already exists in the neighborhood. From December 1st until January 2, this neighborhood is a local attraction for kids and adults alike. He goes every year.

He parks his Jeep at the end of the street, and starts walking. There is enough snow to cover the ground, but not to make walking hazardous. He loves the houses that have the funny displays. Like the one that has Santa's feet sticking out of the chimney, but his favorite one is the one with the outhouse where periodically the door opens and you see Santa on the toilet reading the newspaper. As he walks up ahead he sees a bunch of people crowded near a particular house. It peaks his interest and he walks over there. As he gets closer, the sight and sound makes him freeze. Is that Rachel surrounded by a bunch of toddlers singing "Rudolph?" He is about to turn and go, when she catches his eyes.

_And how the reindeer loved him,_

_As they shouted out with glee,_

_Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer_

_You'll go down in hiiiiiistoooooryyyyyy!_

He has to smile at that and she shyly smiles back, so he feels like he should stay and say hello to her. She finishes the song, and the kids start chanting, "Again, again!" She tells them her throat is tired and that she has to go rest it and as the crowd starts to disperse, she slowly walks up to him.

"Well, that was a surprise!" Finn says as he takes in her red nose and way she is bundled up.

"The kids were trying to sing and needed a leader, so I sort of took over. You know, I never turn down and opportunity to perform for a crowd, even if they're still in diapers." She laughs and then looks at the ground. He looks at her for a few seconds with a somber look and when she looks up he sticks his elbow out for her to take.

"I was going to look at the lights; you wanna walk with me?" He asks her with a small smile.

"Are you sure? I know I am not your favorite person right now." She asks hesitantly with her eyes downcast.

He bends down so he can look at her in the eyes and says, "Hey, look at me...you will always be my favorite person, no matter what, ok?" She looks up at him with a surprised look on her face, and smiles.

"Ok, let's walk."

She links her arm around his elbow and he shoves his hands in his coat pockets. They walk in silence for a few moments stopping at each house to look at the lights. She loved that they could always be silent with each other without it feeling awkward. They got to one of the last houses that had the most ridiculous display of probably a thousand Barbies arranged around the yard in various kinds of Christmas themes. Finn looked at her and said, "I guess the brood of girls from his house are all grown up." The one display closest to the fence was a miniature Christmas carousel with Barbies riding around on the carousel but instead of animals they rode elves, Santas, or snowmen. Finn pointed to one Barbie wearing a sweater and short plaid skirt with knee socks and looked at Rachel and said, "Hey look, it's Old Rachel!"

She looked at him kind of funny and said, "Yes, I did dress a bit crazy, didn't I?"

"I like the way you dressed, Rachel." He explained to her.

"Do you really hate my look now?" She turns to look up at him.

"Honestly?" He looks at her, kind of biting the inside of his cheek.

"Honestly. I want to know what you think." Rachel looks at him square in the face.

"Ok, but don't get pissed ok? Look, you look nice now and sexy, but you look like you are going to a club dancing even when it's daytime. It looks like you are trying too hard; for what, I don't know. And your eye make up is too much. You have very expressive eyes; you don't have to hide them behind false lashes and mascara."

Rachel scoffs a little bit and says, "I'll have you know, I do not wear false lashes!"

He kind of looks at her sideways with a "really?" expression.

"Ok, fine! I do wear them sometimes." she relents.

"Sorry! You're the one that asked for honesty, ok? Now, let's not talk about your raccoon eyes anymore," he says jokingly. She punches him on the shoulder and he yelps in pain. "Ow, I was just joking!" Finn grabs her hand, their fingers intertwining by habit, to walk to another house. They walk to the end of the street and turn around to go back to his car.

"Where is your car?" He asks her.

"My parents dropped me off after dinner. I'm going to text them when I'm ready to leave."

"Don't bother them! I'll take you home on my way back to my house." Finn goes up to the passenger side of his car and opens the door for her.

"Are you sure?" She looks up at him.

"I wouldn't offer if I weren't sure," he smiles and she takes a seat. He closes the door and goes to the driver's side.

He is about to open the door, takes a moment to draw in a deep breath and slowly let it out. He feels like he is on a date. He opens the door and gets in. He starts the car and he is very aware of her sitting there. He has on a Christmas music station and Rachel starts singing along getting lost in the song. At some point she puts her hand on the inside of his right knee and slowly slides it up like it's the most natural thing. He whips his head around to look at her with a shocked look on his face. She snatches her hand away, just as shocked at herself as he is.

"I am so sorry! It was just automatic, a habit, I didn't even think about it. I'm really sorry, Finn." He presses his lips together and looks straight ahead. He picks up speed and she kicks her self for ruining their easy time together. All of a sudden Finn veers off the road to a park they used to go to and pulls into the darkened parking lot. He parks the car, turns off the engine, and he turns and looks like he is going to really tell her off. He is furious! She looks down at her hands on her lap and says, "Finn, I...don't..." He swears under his breath, "Oh, screw it!" and grabs her by the upper arms and yanks her toward him. He crushes her lips with his and he is pushing his face on hers so hard her lips are starting to hurt. Just then he relaxes a little bit and the kiss is urgent but not crushing. His tongue brushes her lips lightly and she parts her mouth and their tongues meet in the middle. Her heart is pounding and she has her hands high up on his chest by his collarbones. His hands are still gripping her upper arms. She slides her hands up to the back of his neck and slowly slides them into his hair. She runs her nails against his scalp and feels him slowing down to pull away. She makes a moan and fists his hair to keep his head in place and his mouth on hers. He pulls backward really hard and hears the smack of their lips parting. Grunting a little, she grabs his head and forces her lips on his. She starts speaking between kisses. "I am so... pissed at you...Finn Hudson! You promised you... would text...every two weeks and you haven't." He continues the kiss and grunts back, "I promised...I'd think about it. I thought about it...and decided against it." He breaks the furious kissing and begins kissing her slowly and thoroughly their tongues recreating their usual, sensual dance from when they were together. After what seems like minutes they break the kiss and look at each other. She keeps her eyes closed for a second and opens them to see the pure lust in his which mirror the lust in hers. He looks like he is fighting with himself and she sees it in his eyes the moment he loses the fight. She gets a small smile on her lips as his lips meet hers once again. They kiss for a long time each taking turns being the aggressor. His tongue is doing crazy things to her and she slowly unbuttons his jacket and pushes it off his shoulders. He takes it off and tosses it to the back seat with his lips on the side of her neck. She then takes her coat off and tosses it in the back as well. He pushes his seat all the way back, and she comes to his side of the car and straddles him with the steering wheel digging into her lower back, but she doesn't care. He can feel her trembling in his hands from the sexual desire, and he grins and thinks she is like a tiny Chihuahua in his hands. She places her trembling hands under his sweater and slides them up to his pecs and back down slowly. She breaks the kiss to place feather kisses and nips on this jaw line loving the feel of this scruff against her lips and tongue. She moves down to his neck and kisses her way to the spot where his collarbones meet and bites and sucks lightly. He groans and places his hands on the top of her thighs and slides them up under her skirt to cup her ass and stops in surprise when he feels she is wearing a thong. He can feel her bare ass in his hands. He slaps her butt cheek firmly and proceeds to squeeze both of her ass cheeks so hard she whimpers and bites down hard in his bottom lip. He knows she'll have red marks there tomorrow.

"Oh, God!" he groans. "You feel so good."

"Finn! I want you," she sighs.

She grinds down on him and she can feel him...he is really hard. She smiles a little at this and slides her hands from his pecs to the waistband of his jeans and pops the button. With a feather touch she slides her hand under the elastic of his boxers and lightly touches the head of his hardness as he sucks in his breath quickly.

"Rachel, what are you doing to me? We really shouldn't be doing this," he says breathlessly between moans unconvincingly.

"Shhhh!" she says. "I missed you, in every way."

"You keep doing that I won't be able to stop," he half whispers breathily against her mouth.

"I know." She breathes against his lips.

He looks at her, her eyes half closed with lust and need, and he pushes the button to make the driver's seat backrest recline all the way. She lowers his zipper and places her lips on his abdomen. His breath catches and he is breathing in and out really hard. She pushes down on his jeans lightly and his hardness is released. She touches him lightly while pushing up his sweater to expose his chest. He quickly takes off the sweater and throws it onto the back seat as well. She places her lips on his chest and puts light kisses, and little licks all over his chest and abdomen while slowly stroking him. He has his hands in her hair and bunches her hair in his fist and tugs a little. Her response is to bite lightly and suck right above his collarbone which causes a gasp to escape his lips. He grabs her head and brings it up to him to kiss her hard one more time. He opens the buttons on the front of her shirt and opens it wide to expose her whole chest and abdomen. Her black lacy bra is sexy and he cups her breasts with his hands through the fabric. While holding her gaze, he opens the front closure clasp and her bra pulls away exposing her bare breasts. He pulls her down over him so his lips graze the swell on the left breast while his hand kneads the right one. He takes the left nipple in his mouth and swirls his tongue over it, nips it lightly with his teeth eliciting a deep sigh and then a gasp from her lips. As she is stroking him steadily, he quickly moves his hand under her skirt and quickly moves it into her panties to her most intimate spot. She breaks the kiss and and gasps for air like someone who is drowning. She moves her hips against his hand letting him know she wants more. Holding her gaze, he slowly dips one finger into her feeling her wetness surround him. As she continues feeling this intense pleasure, she wants to close her eyes, but she keeps on looking at him in the eyes. His finger begins to move inside her and she moves her hips to meet his hand. He moves his thumb over her sensitive spot, and she begins to breathe in and out very quickly. He knows she is close, and he continues moving his hand in and out as she leans her back over the steering wheel giving him easier access, her hand falling away from his erection. At this position he begins using both hands, one moving inside her the thumb of the other swirling around her sensitive spot. She grabs both of his arms urging him to keep going as her nails are digging into his forearms. She finally exclaims, "Finn!" as she begins jerking uncontrollably over his hands and rides out her orgasm. She begins coming down and as she regains her breath, she begins to focus on him once again. Her hands return onto his erection and she continues to stroke him smoothly, strongly, as his breathing is beginning to become erratic. As she is stroking him she begins to rub her panty covered crotch over his length and she can tell as he begins to lose it. He scrunches is eyebrows and bites his lip as he is close to coming. "God, I'm gonna..." he exclaims with almost guttural sound and she knows he is fighting it. She puts her free hand on the back on his neck and brings him close and whispers against his lips, "Let go." She kisses him and he grabs her hair in both of his fists and as he explodes in her hand, she muffles his sounds with her lips. She finally lays on him, her chest naked on his chest and she can hear his heartbeat slowing back down. They stay that way for a few minutes reveling on just being together this way again.

"Ok, I'm going to say it...this is insane!" he says to her while he strokes her back.

"I know. It is insane, this intensity. It doesn't feel like that with... anyone else... for me. What about you?" She asks him pushing up on her forearms to look at him.

He looks at her and he agrees. "It doesn't feel like that with... anyone else... for me either." A few more minutes pass and he starts to shift beneath her.

"OK" he says, "We need to leave." After placing a quick kiss on her lips, he places her gently on the passenger seat while he raises the back of his seat upright. They use some wipes to clean themselves. As he adjusts his clothes and zips his pants, she does the same on the passenger seat. He looks playfully at her and says, "I kind of like those front opening bras." She giggles and replies him with "Yeah, I do too." He puts his hands on the steering wheel, but makes no move to start the car.

"What are we doing?" he asks without turning to look at her.

She looks at her hands and sighs, "I don't know."

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" he whispers softly.

"No, not until you are ready to make the change, Finn." She looks down on her lap. "We being together is not the problem. The problem is that if you come to New York just to be with me, you WILL resent me for it down the road. When we get back together, I won't be parted from you again...ever. So you need to make sure that you are ready for whatever 'being with Rachel Berry' entails."

He smiles then. "I _am_ trying to find my way, you know." After he starts the car, he lets the heater burn off the fogged windows for a few minutes.

"I do want something to change right away, though, and that is the fact that you won't talk to me. I can't stand that so, please, say we will stay in touch and talk," Rachel pleads with him. He turns in his seat and looks at her, "I don't know if I can do that!" She grabs his face in her hands, and looks as him deeply in his eyes. "This is not any different that when you went back to Quinn junior year. As hard as it was, I stayed friends with you. This will be just us talking...no one else needs to be mentioned. Not Brody, or Olivia, ok? Just you and me talking about what is going on in our lives exclusive of others." He looks like he is thinking this over. "Ok, but just texting, for now."

While they are waiting, Rachel looks over at him and bites her lip. "That was some kind of ass slapping and butt squeezing there, caveman!" He looks over at her a little guilty, "Sorry, all that pent up frustration came out. I didn't hurt you, did I?" She looks at him and shakes her head no. He smiles at her, "I think you need to be prepared for some marks there." He looks down at the steering wheel and says, "You may have to hide that hiney from You-Know-Who," he laughs. He does not feel guilty at all.

"Not a problem," she admits, "I'm not naked around him with the lights on."

"Ok, TMI! Windows are clear; let's go home." He looks over at her. He puts the car in reverse and as he turns back to look out the back window, she puts her hand on his arm and says a little sheepishly, "I liked it!" He looks a little confused at her. "The ass slapping and squeezing, I mean. AND the new scruff you are sporting; it's hot!" He looks back at her a little surprised and smiles.

"Yeah, and next time I might go all cavewoman on you!" she threatens humorously.

"Next time..." he pauses and then teases, "Maybe I'll let you."

They drive in silence the rest of the way and he finally pulls up at her door. Rachel turns to look at him and leans in for a kiss. Her hand goes on his chest just over his heart, and she can feel it hammering away matching the beat of hers. The kiss is soft and lingers for a few seconds.

Finn looks a little guiltily at her, "Do you regret doing this...you know, because of Brody?"

A contemplating look crosses her face and she looks at him squarely in the face to reply. "No. My heart is obviously not committed to him and technically we didn't have sex, so, no. Not at all."

"Um...technically, no, but what we did was sexual. How would you feel if he were back in New York doing that with another girl?" he asks. "You want the truth?" she asks him. Finn nods his head. She turns to look at him and says, "Relieved."

"I know if I was your boyfriend and you did that with someone else, it would be a deal breaker," he shoots back.

"Well, if you were my boyfriend, I wouldn't need to do that with anyone else." she whispers. "Look, I'm not regretting it, and I'm not going to feel guilty for something I can't control." She smiles at him and opens the door and whispers, "Don't get out. I probably won't see you before Christmas, so have a Merry Christmas."

With a resigned look, Finn nods his head, "You too!" and she gets out of the car, goes into her front door, glances behind her once more, and disappears behind the door.

He sits there for a few minutes thinking how fucked up this is and realizes that he also feels no guilt. Shouldn't he feel a little guilty? He is seeing someone else, and as casual as it is, he thinks he should feel bad about this. All he feels is that it was so right, like it was something that should be.

His phone buzzes and looks down. He has missed two texts from Olivia.

**1-Did you make it home ok? **

**2-When you get a chance just text that you made it home ok.**

Now he is starting to feel uneasy. He shoots back a text.

**Sorry, I went to see the Christmas lights in that outrageous neighborhood I told you about, and left the phone in the car. I'm on my way home now. TTYL :)**

He waits for a response. It doesn't come and he is about to drive off when the phone buzzes.

**Did you see the lights alone?**

He knows what she is asking, cause Olivia knows Rachel would be visiting Lima, and he contemplates what he should say. He just shouldn't say anything. He finally responds with the truth.

**No**

She takes what seems a lifetime to respond.

**Ok. **

Honesty is the best thing at this point...it keeps things also makes him feel shitty. He sends her a text to lighten up the mood.

**Alright, see you later...have fun spending Christmas in Colorado skiing with your family, ok? Don't come back with a broken body part! :)**

She still takes a long time to reply.

**Have fun spending Christmas with your family and friends, too! Look out for your body parts, as well. 'Night!**

Ouch! She is sending him a little barb in that text. He finally texts back,

'**Night!**

His breath slowly comes out, and it's then that he realizes that he must have been holding it. She seems to have somehow realized something was up. He guesses women's intuition and all that. Oh, well. She knows the situation...no surprises. He is sure now that she will dump him after her holiday trip. It might be for the best.

What he doesn't realize is that Rachel is looking out from an upstairs window watching him text on his phone. She can guess what is going on right now. Finn feels guilty and is making amends via text to his BCB. Although a BCB would not need an explanation, so she can only deduce that his BCB is more than that. The question is how much more. The idea that he would be doing things with her that he does with Rachel makes her want to vomit. Thinking of his hands on another woman makes her want to vomit. Brody hasn't even texted her today at all. For the first time she realizes this could be a very dangerous thing they are doing...soon things are going to have to be resolved, one way or another.

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Christmas Day arrives with a ton of snow on the ground. Surprise! A beautiful Lima Christmas! After the Hummel-Hudson household had breakfast and opened their presents, it was time for the quest for the pickle ornament. Once Burt and Kurt moved in with them, they brought with them the coolest Christmas tradition. They had a glass, green, pickle ornament that would be hidden by Burt in the tree before the family woke up on Christmas Day. The person who finds it gets the extra gift on Christmas. Finn has become the champion of pickle finding and, as last year, he won by finding it first this morning. He is not even upset when Finn's mom tells him he needs to go with Kurt and shovel the steps, walkway and sidewalk. Kurt protests, but Finn likes the quiet of being outdoors in the snow, with the only sound being the scrape of the shovel against the concrete. He bundles up and heads outside. He and Kurt are standing as they open the door, and they both look at each other in a confused manner because they see footprints in the snow leading up to the door, but no one came this morning. They follow the footsteps and find a small box on the step at the left corner by the door frame.

Kurt picks it up and yells, "Yay, we have a secret Santa! There is no name on the box, must be a family gift." He grabs the small box and goes in the house to share with the others.

Finn shakes his head and although he is curious to see what is in the box, he begins shoveling the steps. He has only gotten through two steps when Kurt comes back a little morose and looks at Finn. Alarms go off in Finn's head when he sees Kurt's face. "What's wrong?" he asks Kurt. Kurt looks at him sadly and says, "It's for you." Finn looks surprised. "You said it didn't have a name on it...how do you know?"

Kurt looks back at him, his lips pursed and says, "Believe me, it's for you."

A big smile breaks on Finn's face. There is nothing more fun than finding one more present after you thought you opened all of yours. "Huh! Thanks!" he says and reaches for it. He opens the box and there is a silver tie clip in there. He takes it out and sees that it has two crossed drumsticks engraved on a small rectangle. There is also a note in the box:

_A good luck charm for you!_

Although the note isn't signed, he knows who left it.

He takes out his phone and sends her a text...

**Thanks!**

It takes her only a few seconds to respond.

**You're welcome! 3 **

Across town, Rachel smiles at her phone as she looks at the sent text and walks out of her bedroom.

At the steps of the Hummel-Hudson house, Finn Hudson smiles and puts the small box in the pocket of his coat. He picks up the shovel and yells at Kurt to do the same.

"Pick up your shovel and help me you lazy ass!" he yells jokingly. Kurt complains, a lot, but finally complies.

As Finn is working hard shoveling the snow, he is thinking...This is the Second Best. Christmas. EVER.

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**A/N: ****The neighborhood with the lights really does exist in my town, including the "Barbie" house with the Carousel.**


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